EverydayMonkey

not never gonna post again, just when it's special

2011-04-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

like today! this was at the bottom of the blazers' online schedule page. i looked down that far on the page because i was checking out the scores from earlier in the season...yes, i'm that much of a fan now, checkin' out tha statz.

2011-02-16T17:06:00.000-08:00

2011-02-15T12:22:00.001-08:00

here

OH dear.

2011-02-12T15:29:00.001-08:00

I've lapsed again.

This blog is hard to keep up with, y'all! I have been jotting down and snapping pics every day, but it is not easy to keep up with all the monkeys I see all the time! I suppose if i had a magic smart phone i could post things when I am away from my computer, but I don't. Not yet, anyway.

But I think by now you all get the picture. it is endless. i'll see what i can do to re-motivate. meanwhile...

EVERY DAY THERE IS A MONKEY!!

Encore!

2011-02-09T16:16:00.001-08:00

"It would be like those poor bicycle-riding chimps who had to perform after the Beatles!"

--Phoebe on Friends, who doesn't want to play guitar after Ross, who is inflicting "The Sound" upon everyone at the coffeehouse.

right on schedule

2011-02-07T18:14:00.001-08:00

"Guys! This monkey-mugger story could make me famous!"--Robin Scherbatsky on HIMYM, who wants to do a report about Marshall getting mugged by a monkey, except that... wait for it... wait... for... it... IT NEVER HAPPENED! It was a lie.

The whole episode is about this monkey business, but i don't know if there's an actual monkey in it.

way.

2011-02-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

this was on SNL last night. first of all, it was awesome they did it, and second, they did it great! literally.

SUPER!

2011-02-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

Today is the Super Bowl for most people. For me it was Baby Shower day, two in a row, at the same time, so i had to do a little time management. I just got home, checked my email, and this was on msn homepage:

Cat Man Do

2011-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

I never watch Globe Trekker, but i decided to check it out for a bit tonight, and sure enough, there was a visit to the Monkey Temple in Nepal.

*

*If you haven't noticed already

2011-02-05T01:21:00.000-08:00

there are usually more than just one monkey per day. monkeys, apes, whatever. primates. every. every. every. day. And it gets a little tiring to keep track of sometimes!

back to back

2011-02-04T17:44:00.000-08:00

Family Guy, 5:00pm: Chris is told to go to his room, he doesn't want to go because of the "evil monkey living in my closet"

Family Guy, 5:30: the family help Lois escape from jail in a van. Peter says they'll just stay wherever the van stops and try to blend in. It turns out to be Chinatown. Chris says "at least there wont be an evil monkey in my closet anymore."

do they plan this shit?

W + K

2011-02-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

"wait, there's an invisible monkey"--heard on a tv commercial for an upcoming show on KGW channel 8, about super bowl ads and the local advertising agency Weiden + Kennedy

brilliant.

2011-02-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

I would totally go see this.

they really ARE

2011-02-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

As soon as i can get a link to this, i'll update the post. Its very giggly.

family tree

2011-02-03T18:49:00.001-08:00

from How I Met Your Mother, Barney:

incredulously: "You're not from Missour-a??!?! Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"

second time this phrase has come up in a month. what is it's origin? anyone? yeah, it's weird. so I google-image'd and this was the first pic that came up for monkey's uncle:

OUCH

2011-02-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

i wonder if it's real...

Josephine Rose

2011-02-02T22:47:00.000-08:00

my favorite kid in the whole wide world ever.

:) :)

Thanks Julie!!

2011-02-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

Look what Julie texted me this morning! All day I got caught up in things like scrambling for rent money, babysitting, and watching an AWESOME Blazer game. But here he is now, before i sack out with Harry Potter, this very cute guy, who looks just like this guy!

Ye Olde Guy of the Familie

2011-01-31T17:42:00.000-08:00

On the topic of jury duty: "It's what separates us from the monkeys."

TODAY AND FOREVER!

2011-01-30T12:12:00.000-08:00

this is getting out of hand, Huffmeister.

YESTERDAY!

2011-01-30T12:05:00.000-08:00

i gathered monkeys all day, and yet my evening took a surprise turn and by the time i got home it was past midnight. ok, in chrono order:

1) Sam Seder on Ring of Fire radio program, appx 1pm: "...they are talking in monkey voices."

2) Trip to Fabric Depot, no big surprise to see monkeys, but I wasn't even looking. This very cute fabric was just behind the red flannel i had come to buy:

and this was getting quite the ogling from a tiny old lady, I was not about to snap a picture of her looking at it:

3) After the Depot i went to Columbia art supplies to pick up some fabric dye, and this was next to the register:

UPDATE: o shit i forgot to post the pics. its february.

1001 reasons why kids are cute

2011-01-28T20:25:00.001-08:00

partial

2011-01-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

All I wrote down earlier was "...a monkey would be a refreshing step up! a monkey would talk less!" and I cannot remember what show it was! Either HIMYM or FG .

way.

2011-01-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

i admit, i am still surfing the web for no dang reason. what am i thinking! my time would be better spent outside, it's GORGEOUS. Portland is always mild and wonderful when the rest of the country is arctic blasted. lucky us. but this guy? you just know all the locals are like "there goes another gringo loco..."

all the news thats fit to blog

2011-01-27T12:21:00.000-08:00

Thank you, msn homepage, for keeping me informed of the day's important topics.

yester yester day day

2011-01-27T10:39:00.000-08:00

I let the day get away from me before I could sit down and post. I have a good excuse though: Enchilada Dinner Party. It was delicious. But earlier in the day, going to visit my friend's brand-new baby, the topic of The Jungle Book came up, specifically the Orangutan character, King Louie.

nighty nite

2011-01-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

fuckin A i am soooo sleepy. but not sleepy enough to browse the "news" before I crash out with Harry Potter 5. Thanks HuffyPoo, sweet dreams.

Fine Homebuilding

2011-01-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

Yet another magazine my housemate has a subscription to, sitting on the kitchen table. I started to flip thru while eating my breakfast, and on the letters to the editor page i went immediately to this entry, not even reading any of the others:

sidekick

2011-01-24T17:19:00.000-08:00

Sewing, watching/listening to Family Guy: James Woods is going to star in a TV pilot written by Brian, who wanted Elijah Wood for the role. James is making a list of demands, and at the end of it says "Oh, by the way, I need a chimp sidekick." So I got my camera ready and...

Coco Love Good

2011-01-23T23:45:00.001-08:00

AND...

2011-01-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

today my friend Julie sent me a link in response to me posting the picture of the monkey poster in her son's room. It's a song called The Smartest Monkey by one of my fave bands when I was in high school, XTC, which means that I am old.

Girl Party!

2011-01-23T13:16:00.000-08:00

After picking up my friend from the airport, we met up with some other lovely ladies at the Gold Dust Meridian. It's a swanky enough place, with decent food and drinks and atmosphere. But they dropped the ball entirely with lazyish service and overly froofy giant fish-bowl drinks dripping with umbrellas and plastic mermaids and yard-long straws. The table next to us ordered one and when it came out it looked like a joke, a tiki-bar monstrosity. I don't even think the Alibi makes a caricature of a drink like this. Anyway. After that group left, but before Mr. Lazypants cleared their table, I managed to catch this out of the corner of my eye, so we snagged it from the rim of the fishbowl. The picture is blurry. So were we.

ditto

2011-01-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

Still have Family Guy on. I'm done with laundry, now i'm getting ready to pick up a friend from the airport. Peter to Lois: "By the way, I bought a chimp." Raise your hand if you think I have the TV on too much. Wait, don't answer that.

over-heard, over-monkeyed

2011-01-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

At some point i might have to refrain from including quotes from Family Guy (and How I Met Your Mother)...there's practically a monkey in every episode! Just now while I was folding laundry, Stewie says to Brian: "I've been a naughty little monkey!"

Right Turn, Clyde*

2011-01-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

In addition to the aforementioned Esquire magazine that my housemate receives in the mail, he also receives Smithsonian, which makes a nice balance. He must have let the subscription lapse, because I hadn't seen it around for a while, until now. The February issue came in the mail today, and on the Letters to the Editor page, the letters addressed topics from the December issue, which we did not get. But at least we know what the cover looked like:

*it is entirely possible that I used this title for a post back in '09, for those of you paying very close attention. haa!

One-two punch

2011-01-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

Here is the kind of poster you might find in an 18-year-old's bedroom, whose room was shown to me by his mom, an old dear dear friend who i've re-connected with after stupidly too long. Last time I saw that kid he was still a lil' pip-squeak.

And here is the shirt of a girl who was walking by me and my friends outside of a bar. I asked if i could take a picture of her shirt, and, after explaining about the blog, she decided that maybe i wasn't overly weird (maybe just a little weird) and said yes. Thanks Sara!

FISHBONE!!! AND ROSCOE!

2011-01-21T13:11:00.001-08:00

OK. Stay with me on this:

So, last week i read in the Portland Mercury about a movie called "Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone." It was playing here as part of the Reel Music film festival. I wasn't able to see the movie, but i dug out an OLD OLD OLD tape that i made in probably 1991 or 92 when i lived in LA and listened to a LOT of Fishbone (and Jane's Addiction and Bob Marley and Cypress Hill...). I tried to play the tape in my car, but it became stuck in my tape player due to the fancy customn squeezy-paint decoration i embellished the tape with. Ha. I got it out with some pliers, and remembered that this happened to me once before when i first got my car (i should put a post-it note on the tape that says "Do not play this tape in your car, dummy").

Now it is today and I was craving this music so i found it on Grooveshark (an awesome place to listen to music when you don't want to suffer the randomness, commercials and EVERY POSSIBLE GENRE WILL PULL UP A BEATLES SONG of Pandora). And the fantastic song "Short Bus Movin'" includes this line:

"...the mayo men used firehoses to spray the monkeys back in their cages..."

Of course i went straight to youtube to find a video of the song (happy SIXTH birthday to youtube, btw. that's right. only SIX. and you thought it had been around since the beginning of time...). There wasn't a regular video for it, but the first listing that came up was a clip from the movie Tapeheads, one of the most underrated and hilarious movies EVER! The scene in which this song is featured (but not featuring the monkey lyrics) has Fishbone all dressed up in cowboy gear and they are credited with the name "Ranchbone," which just adds yet another hilarious element to this great movie. If you don't believe me, just watch it yourself, and keep an eye out for Roscoe.

at breakfast this morning...

2011-01-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

...casually flipping thru Esquire magazine, which one of my housemates receives in the mail.

well that's just great.

2011-01-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

According to the show on PBS* right now, there are monkeys in the wild that have DIED from stress-related maladies that, pathologically, are the same as stress-related maladies that affect people. I feel the need to point out that i, personally, have been feeling less and less stressful recently, and i have to tell you, it feels pretty good. Buck up, monkeys! And people!

*link is to PBS info, there isn't a link to watch the show :-(

Family Guy

2011-01-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

The one where Brian is trying to start an animal rights group after accidentally killing another dog and finding out it wasn't that big a deal. No one was interested so Stewie wants to cheer him up. He offers an empathetic anecdote in which he remembers reading a Curious George book, which was written by the wrong person, or something like that. In the "flashback" Stewie is shown reading Curious George, horrrified, and he exclaims "...monkeys aren't supposed to drink chardonnay!"

les bebes sanges

2011-01-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

On the Huffington Post this morning, in which a tiny french girl recounts the story of Winnie-the-Pooh, except that I don't remember any of the things she is talking about. Perhaps I skipped that chapter? I just remember honey jars and upturned umbrellas used as boats and toes growing cold in the snow, tiddly-pom. She's a darn cute kid, but my all time favorite cute kid on the web is this superstar.

Dinosaur Wars

2011-01-17T21:57:00.001-08:00

The last place on the television that I'd expect to see/hear ANY monkeys at all: an OPB show about the true-life melodrama surrounding two early American paleontologists. They showed a clip of Humphrey Bogart in "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." This is a movie about gold prospecting in the old west, not dinosaurs. Or monkeys. But the clip was to help illustrate that in the early part of the century, early paleontologists on long, arduous digs would apparently ditch their assignments and go dig for gold instead. Smart. But the clip they showed included these words from Bogie: "...you won't monkey around with Fred C. Dobbs."

How I Met Your Monkey

2011-01-17T21:51:00.000-08:00

From HIMYM (I see a trend developing): Marshall is sad, but Barney and Ted know that web videos of dudes getting whacked in the nuts will cheer him up. They rattle off a list of things that would be acceptable as projectiles, the list ending with "...hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists."

Savage Love

2011-01-17T21:49:00.001-08:00

From Dan Savage's column in this week's Mercury, which I read earlier while eating lunch. A turkey sandwich made with leftovers from last night!

Last Night...

2011-01-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

...my friends Dana and her hubby Gus had delicious turkey dinner with delicious food and delicious guests and this mug was sitting on top of her microwave. I didn't get home until past midnight because i was having such a delicious time, so here it is for you today.

preggo

2011-01-15T20:52:00.000-08:00

watching "Cracking the Maya Code" NOVA program on hulu

lazy sunday, part deux

2011-01-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

yes, i am still being lazy. I watched the premiere episode of Portlandia and some shows about space on hulu. and sewed a little bit. now i'm checking out more metal history--still learning so much!--and came upon another gem. gemonkey. oh, i also folded laundry.

lazy sunday

2011-01-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

I know, it's still saturday, but it is so drizzly and gross and starting to get dark that it feels like a get-back-in-bed kind of day. And I saw this link a bit ago and was in the middle of educating myself on metal music when this playlist came up in the sub-genre of "Stoner Metal."

Now go educate yourselves: http://www.mapofmetal.com/#/home

cracked!

2011-01-15T11:03:00.001-08:00

this from a cracked.com article about images that look photoshopped but aren't

i can has lol monkey?

2011-01-14T00:42:00.000-08:00

OKAY, i've said it before and its still true: i am a crazy cat lady without a cat. i thought i'd give icanhascheezeburger.com a look-see before turning off my computer. then i clicked on a small image to see it bigger and the page it brought up had a little friend on it. This is the picture i wanted to see bigger:

Aren't they cuuuuuute?!?! you know they are, and no, i'm not going to [cap it]. Goodnight!

THIRTY ROCKS

2011-01-13T22:46:00.000-08:00

Jack Donaghy is recalling something to Liz Lemon about his college life: "...I was either (doing something in the something) or I was "sweeping the floor at the Princeton monkey lab."

this time i'm getting up from the sewing table

2011-01-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

As you have probably figured out, i watch a lot of regular tv during the day. I'm not working right now, but i AM working on lots of projects, and i like to have re-runs on when i'm sewing, esp. between 4 and 7pm. These shows are like dear old friends. And when work starts up again next month, I'll have to bid them adieu and hope for other, less tele-centric monkeys. Vive la television!

From How I Met Your Mother (which is actually a fantastic show. It fills in the void left by Friends):

Barney: "Didn't you get my message?"
Robin: "No, I blocked your e-mail after the fourth time you tried to send me that video of a monkey sniffing its butt."

Fabric Depot

2011-01-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

This is a very strange coin purse made out of a little tiny sock! I guess you could say it's a sock monkey of sorts...

i spaced it yesterday, but there were TWO monkeys

2011-01-13T17:21:00.000-08:00

1) "It would be like giving a monkey the keys to an amusement park"--heard on That 70's Show

2) "he'll have wild monkey sex five times and then be done with her"--How I Met Your Mother

I was sewing while these shows were on and wrote them down, but I forgot to post 'em!

goooooood morning CNN!

2011-01-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

run! be freeeeeee!

linky linky

2011-01-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

I was just about to get in bed and read, but before turning off my computer, I checked out a blog i like called fourfour.

This particular post interested me because i grew up in Dallas, and was a kid when this was made. My friend and i went into Neiman Marcus once and tried on fancy party dresses we could never afford. And it was in the mid-80's, so everything was u.g.l.y. enough to gag you with a spoon. Anyway. I linked to the filmmaker's website and encountered this! It was made in 1974 and now i really want to see it.

the final frontier

2011-01-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

I enjoy watching shows and videos about space. There is a YouTube channel called SpaceRip with many many excellent space videos.

I found it a few months ago and stayed up very late one night bingeing on videos about space. Its been a little while since I checked it out, so i went on YouTube to see what was new. And look who is there, hanging out on a menu filled with videos about SPACE.

and then there's Maude! who is certainly not a monkey.

2011-01-10T15:59:00.001-08:00

Right between The Tyra Show and Cops on the tv box there is a new station called "Antenna TV" which features mostly sitcoms from the 70's and 80's. (Why, Good Times came on just this second!)

Maude and Walter are arguing about women's roles, etc, (remember, it was basically the premise of the whole show). She expounds upon the drudgery of waking up early and getting gussied up and slathering on makeup just to go to the kitchen and make breakfast for her husband. Then she exclaims: "Walter, if that's your idea of a fulfilled life, then I'll be a monkey's uncle!" Then they got into bed.

"Including a villainous, space-age monkey!"

2011-01-10T12:43:00.001-08:00

Today a friend posted a link to this movie trailer, so now i'm posting it for you. Don't forget your popcorn and pot cookies, kids! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFZ2X6hrk6o

who knew?!?!

2011-01-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

i made a facebook post announcing the triumphant return of EverydayMonkey, and this is what I found out! Thanks Chach!

is it still yesterday???

2011-01-09T11:50:00.000-08:00

mo babies!
Thanks again HufflepuffPost!

friggin' babies today!

2011-01-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned, I went to a baby shower today. Because I am so BROKE (only for another month, thank gawd), I ended up not buying anything, but I am going to make some dinners for the new parents when they really need it in a few weeks. SOUP! But just now i was thinking about another preggo friend and went on the FB to send her a message and see if she had posted any info and/or giant belly pics. Instead, I found a monkey.

baby humans, never not cute

2011-01-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Just doing a little google search for baby shower gifts. I know, there's almost a guarantee of a monkey sighting when it comes to babies. I just wanted to try to come up with something for my friend other than onesies. ooh, maybe a onesie with a monkey on it. I don't know if i'll be able to find one, though... NOT.

baby animals, never not cute

2011-01-08T11:32:00.001-08:00

Thank you, HuffPo.

this blog would not be possible without Seth MacFarlane

2011-01-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

During The Family Guy earlier, Chris referred to the evil monkey living in his closet. It wasn't the episode where the monkey comes out of Chris' closet, it was one where Lois runs for mayor. anyway. And it was earlier, so i forgot about it. I was sewing and didn't want to get up.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071018214123/familyguy/images/2/2e/Evil_Monkey.gif

Exit Through the Gift Shop

2011-01-06T23:39:00.001-08:00

I know, i know! I hadn't seen it yet! I just started watching it just now!

The Fisher King

2011-01-05T13:31:00.001-08:00

St. Ives used to make this fabulous face mask that apparently they don't make anymore. It is the best stuff ever, and not just because it is the same color as Bedtime Bear. In the film The Fisher King, Jeff Bridges' character takes a bath (Dude prelude?) with this blue mask all over his face. I did a google image search hoping to find a picture of this scene. No luck with that, however, this image came up about 4 pages in, fancy plates with monkeys on 'em. Thanks, Susan Fisher King! Now if you'll just let me know where I can find some of that blue face mask.

radio spot

2011-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

just now, a KPOJ 620am ad for Norman Goldman show, with this sound bite:
"They stuck a monkey wrench in every machine."
referring to republicans, obvs.

oops! this is from last night, i swear

2011-01-04T14:41:00.001-08:00

From the rollicking mid-80's comedy Date Night starring Bruce Willis and Kim Basinger! If you ever need to know just how fucked-up things were in the 80's, just check out this flick! In this picture there is jealous lover John Laroquette, pre-Night Court, giving chase. He crashes into a storefront because a monkey suddenly appears and jumps on his head while he's driving! I know, right! It's so great that the filmmakers got this right, because this happens to me all the time.

Thank you Cleveland Show!

2011-01-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

i am back.

2011-01-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

Farting around on facebook tonight, i came across this image from the b-day celebration of a friend of a friend many times removed. Why in the heck was i poking around? Could it be that I needed to start up this blog again??? You bet your monkey butt I did!

FIRST ON FOX!

2009-06-01T22:21:00.001-07:00

IT IS SOOOOOOO BACK ON, ALL FOUR OF YOU!!!
.
Over the past couple of months the monkey sightings have not slowed one bit, but my motivation certainly has. Tonight, however, a special opportunity on the Ten O Clock news was JUST TOO PERFECT TO PASS UP!!!
.
The Talkin' Head began to read the story: At a coin-op catch-your-own-prize-with-a-little-funky-crane-machine in probably Gresham or Crack-O-My-Ass, some unfortunate tot pulled out a plush toy with a HYPODERMIC NEEDLE inside of it. As the head read, I got my camera phone ready, because I really just absolutely KNEW the plush would be a monkey.
.
Not just any monkey: Curious George! Oh my.

just a few minutes later...

2009-03-19T22:49:00.001-07:00

via cursory myspace check. whew.

mea culpa

2009-03-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

i am sorry all three of you. i just have not had the motivation to keep up with the monkeys this week. it's not that I haven't seen them, including twice today, once in a subway commercial, and once in something else I forgot, but it was about 10 minutes earlier. it's just that i'm overwhelmed by life right now.

on the mend

2009-03-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

to make up for the past few days...

First, my friend on her facebook page,

Then, a song I heard on my favorite internet radio http://eastvillageradio.com/index.php. I wouldn't have noticed it by looking at the playlist, but the dj just announced the songs he was playing, and what albums they were from, so, take that tuesday and wednesday!!

what the?

2009-03-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

It has been such a slow week! I am wondering if this grand experiment might be doomed to failure?!

NOT!

This morning on KPOJ, Thom Hartmann was on a rant about mood-altering drugs, prozac and wellbutrin-type stuff, and he went off on a tangent starting with "...and don't forget the monkey
study the Swiss did" or something like that. Apparently, in this study, the scientists removed some monkeys from a group that were perceived to be depressed due to their demeanor and eating habits. Eventually the rest of the group was wiped out because, as it turns out, these particular monkeys were hanging out on the perimeter of the group and apparently though they were "sad" or something, they also were the ones to give first warning of approaching predators-- like cheetahs! Since these monkeys were removed, or medicated I think with drugs like prozac, they were unable to warn the others in the group of the impending danger, and so they ALL got eaten. Hartmann drew an analogy between these monkeys and what we may be missing about our current society, that so-called "depressed" people or sad people are just more acutely aware of how fucked up things are, of the Impending Danger that exists because all of capitalist western society is headed for the dang cliff!

Now, go have a nice day y'all.

ketchup.

2009-03-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

I SO did not plan for the days to get away from me, because I HAVE been writing down all my "sightings" and even taking some pictures, but I have been busting ass making art all weekend! and so, I am behind. Today had this, at the very least:

These are from the tee-vee on saturday, which I had on while working: "...you're livin' every guy's DREAM! ...it's not my dream. My dream is always the same...A monkey gives me the finger, and then flaps his lips at me..."--Kelso on That 70's Show "I dropped out of high school, so now I gotta dance in front 'a you guys like a monkey!"--Duane Johnson aka The Rock in a skit on SNL.
.
and this is from last night, I think, Sunday on PBS, a show about captive research monkeys being released into sanctuaries, where some of them get to go OUTSIDE and CLIMB TREES for the FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES, AND SOME OF THEM ARE OVER 30 YEARS OLD. I cried.

blame it on the rain

2009-03-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

I spent the evening at Carissa's last nite, she fed me cheese and bread and noodles and wine, and for that I am grateful! Then we watched 30 Rock, for which I am also grateful. One of the storylines involved Jack Donaghee watching Harry and the Hendersons, referring back to Harry several times as the "woodland ape." Alas I'd spaced it by the time I got home and didn't post yesterday.
.
For Today however, we have this sad news about Peter Tork, the cutest of all the Monkees, IMHO.

yummy

2009-03-04T23:43:00.000-08:00

This is the beer that Dana ordered tonight at the Morrison Hotel, where we also had delicious hamburgers. and good times!

breakfast, lunch, dinner

2009-03-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

Well, really it should be: Lunch, Dinner, Midnite Snack.

Lunch: dropped by Paul's this afternoon and this lighter was on the bar. he has a bar. but the monkey lighter is posing on top of the record player cabinet.

Dinner: plopped on the couch (there's that word again) to vegitate while having some delicious noodles. This was on one of the craptacular Entertainment-Magazine-Type Shows, apparently a tangent off of the freaky chimp freak-out story. This guy seems harmless though right? I mean, apparently he likes to go for walks in the snow wearing a trendy puffer jacket in a nice, bright electric-banana-yellow. He's been in snow before, right? It wouldn't freak him out or anything, would it? Um...

Midnite snack: I've been listening to an archive of an excellent show from my favorite online radio station: http://eastvillag eradio.com/index.php. The show was Peer Pressure from 2/18/09, it was the shit, so many great songs, including one by the dj's band towards the end of the show. And I linked to the band's myspace page because the song was really fucking good, and tah-dah, there were images of their flyers in the pics. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=14739445. The song was Pasting Leaves. Yay!

Tie ie ee eim/is on my knee/yes it is

2009-03-02T22:26:00.000-08:00

In the lobby of the temp agency I went to today,
Time Magazine on the magazine table,
Kate Winslet on the cover,
flippin thru, camera in bag, there you have it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

2009-03-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

"...that's why you never fight a lady monkey."

--words uttered by Dale Gribble on King of the Hill, which is on the TV behind me, which is still on after the Simpsons and before Family Guy. Then I'm turning in early (with the crossword, of course) because I actually have an interview tomorrow at a fancy temp agency. hooray!

Note: it was the plan all along to use an image of Dale Gribble, but I google-imaged "lady monkey," you know, for kicks! And, well, despite there being some interesting, though less-relevant-than-I'd-hoped images (including a link to some adorable cats on flickr):

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm1.static.flickr.com/134/364952659_be37bb9424.jpg&imgrefurl=http://flickr.com/photos/estudiante/364952659/&usg=___sdbZtJPlF7U_ROT2TWSmHLORcw=&h=333&w=500&sz=106&hl=en&start=8&um=1&tbnid=BujYlko3x6NS6M:&tbnh=87&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlady%2Bmonkey%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN, (scroll forward to "balance")

the very first one in line on the results page was so shocking that all I can bring myself to do is make YOU do it: http://images.google.com/images?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=s&hl=en&q=lady%20monkey&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi !

2009-03-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

A hoodie with an ape screenprinted on the side of the hood!I want one of these RIGHT NOW! Actually I think I'd want the Obama one, but the ape one is pretty fantastic!

http://www.headhoods.com/home.html

it's better than being an aardvark's aunt

2009-02-28T21:44:00.000-08:00

Today while working on some art with my friend Paul in his basement, he uttered the words "well I'll be a monkey's uncle." At least that's what I'm hoping he said. He very clearly mentioned a monkey in that way, in context yet utterly old-fashioned-sounding, and though I told him out loud that I was going to put it in this blog, I didn't write it down. I just figured I'd remember it for later. Well, I didn't remember until just now, and when I did a google image search for a maybe, possibly relevant image, this came up, so I'm just sticking with the Monkey's Uncle thing due to the sheer awesome weirdness of this album cover.

awwwwwwwwwww! howcuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

2009-02-27T17:33:00.001-08:00

I really kind of actually mean that. These are some hand-painted nesting dolls listed on etsy, I saw this image when I clicked on a link to see newly up-loaded items. I may as well give this shop a shout-out since I'm using her picture, though I have some reservations about it because some of her items definitley don't look hand-made. OH WELL, it's todays monkey nonetheless...

foot pop?

2009-02-26T23:29:00.001-08:00

After the last post I went downstairs to fetch the NYT crossword from the Oregonian. While I dug around for it I saw this here dorky article about KISSING on the front of the Living section.

I saw the opposite ends of a spectrum today.

2009-02-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

Oh my word it's been a doozie.

I had an appointment at 9am today to follow up on some lingering, festering, debilitating tax crap downtown. And it was all downhill from there.

Traffic was awful, I was running late, and the security people hassled me fiercely about the mini-utility knife on my keychain (that miraculously didn't set off any alarms when my keys were in my pocket last week!?). What was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill groaner of a morning turned into an almost total disaster, and I don't want to go into it other than to say I had a badged and armed federal security dude get up in my face and threaten to arrest me: but it ended up being OK because, FOR REAL: the man who helped me take care of my taxes today was totally and completely cool.

I came in to his cubicle/office so frazzled by the security situation, which, in the interest of full disclosure was exacerbated by the fact that I was exacerbated by traffic, my life in general, and by the exacerbating security people. Two of them were actually quite patient and understanding (i think? they may have been putting me on) but two others were straight out of Central Casting, all super-aggro and entirely over-the-top caricatures of themselves, giving me more shit for nothing at all than I or anyone ever deserved...and i reacted. ANYWAY, when I sat down at the nice man's desk, in tears and clearly ready to break down, he immediately handed me chocolates and some tissues.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?

Then, one of the first things out of his mouth was that he was going to "Help me get the monkey off my back." So, of course I had to mention this here lil' blog, and then the next thing he said was "you know what the best monkey ever is, don't you?" and while I tried to muster up some guesses, he said that the best monkey ever was the Trunk Monkey. And, well, I had to disagree with him there, because the people who put out that ad are the same people who fired me this month and so I think he and you, dear reader, can understand. I can't even dignify the mention with a picture, though there are plenty floating around on the web. Those commercials were--and are still--real darn funny, but one can understand why I have hard feelings...

After that we got down to business, got my taxes filed, made a plan for takin' care of bizness, and then I was on my way. And I did NOT look at the security guys as I left. I'm afraid I would've stuck my tongue out or given them a single-finger salute if I even for a millisecond caught their eye. But, I did NOT look. I did the RIGHT thing, and SUCKED IT UP, and left quietly and peacefully without incident. And as I walked past the trash container in which I had to throw away my little knife, I did not even cringe. I sent Dana a text message about yesterday instead. so there.

Anyway, Thank you so much Mr. Very Nice Tax Man! If you are reading this I want you to know that it meant a WHOLE lot to me as a person that you showed me such kindness, patience and understanding today when I really truly needed it! 100%.

I heart wikipedia!

2009-02-25T19:57:00.000-08:00

This book was just sitting there on Dana's bookshelf waiting for me to see it I'M SURE! And after reading the wikipedia entry about it just now: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hundredth_Monkey I think I might ask her if I can borrow it. Even though the so-called phenomenon has been debunked, it still sounds interesting to hear Ken Kesey's take on it. And now, officially, the mix-up in my head that's had the "Hundredth Monkey" and "12 Monkeys" and "if you give a monkey a typewriter, etc" all confused and confabulated with each other is now untangeled! And also I want to rent 12 Monkeys again because it was really really good!

we can be heroes, just for one day

2009-02-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

So much of this blog involves me plopping on the couch for the fewest of minutes to have something to occupy my eyeballs with while I'm having a snack. Today my "sighting" came courtesy of a kids show on PBS in which Word Girl and her monkey sidekick named Captian Huggy Face (really) go around fighting villains and explaining vocabulary words. I swear I only sat down for just a few minutes, and it was because I'd already read the paper over breakfast... I fumbled for my phone to take a picture of the screen, but it was over before I was able. These screen captures from the website work just fiiiiine though... On a side note, a far-away friend has commissioned me to make a super-hero cape, of sorts, for a performance/art thing he is doing next month. Yay!

I am unashamedly going to watch every milisecond of Oscar night shit, so thank goodness I saw me a monkey already today.

2009-02-22T14:23:00.001-08:00

I ran across this image while checking out photographer Corey Arnold's blog. Here is his website, http://www.coreyfishes.com/ therein you will find a link to the blog. I'm pretty sure this image is not his, based on what is shown on his site. His work is beautiful, poetic, sometimes funny, and he also took my most favorite cat picture I have ever seen in my entire life:

I hope he does not mind me posting it here.

one of the best songs ever.

2009-02-21T13:34:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Uz-dPANDY
I still have this CASSETTE TAPE. From HIGH SCHOOL.

Very often I listen to East Village Radio: http://eastvillageradio.com/index.php. On Saturdays there is a particular show in which half the songs are straight out of my high school record (and TAPE) collection. Today one of the songs was this most amazing Terence Trent D'arby song (whatever happened to that guy) followed by a rad Japanesey re-make of I Cant go For That. I highly recommend checking out this particular dj's show, Sandy Acres Sound Lab with Colleen Crumbcake: http://eastvillageradio.com/modules.php?name=evrshow&showid=76

Here are the extra-special lyrics:

do monkeys dream of electric cats?

2009-02-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

I had a sort-of, kind-of monkey sighting yesterday, but I went out dancing last nite and didn't get a chance to post it. I had gone to visit my friend at his gallery office, and he was watching a dvd on his computer of some animation. He froze the screen on this, an ape-like creature being pounced on ? by a dinosaur. He said it was about evolution.

After I got home from dancing, which was bery bery late, I floated off into a weirdo dream in which I hadn't gone to bed but had actually plopped on the couch to watch a music video. It was very lifelike. The video was the song "In God's Country" by U2 which I had heard earlier in the day on the radio. While I was watching it, my housemate, who usually stays out way later than me, came stumbling in himself from a night of revelry, and there were people with him including my friend from earlier in the day. We all began hanging out, and in the background this dreamy video was still on. I remarked on it and my housemate said "oh yeah, that's the 18-minute extended version." Then the video showed dirty children on a stubbly hillside playing with ages-old-looking sock monkeys who then began to dance around by themselves. I scrambled to try and take a picture but ended up watering a plant on top of the television and that is all I remember.

Here is an awesomely huge, very affectionate cat that was hanging out outside the bar my friends and I went to before dancing. His name is Dekum. His ear is torn. It was hard to take his picture because when I squatted down he kept mashing his head into my knee.

taxman wipeth me out.

2009-02-19T18:15:00.001-08:00

I spent three hours downtown, ended up paying FIFTEEN DOLLARS to park, and hadn't eaten ALL day, so I came home and plopped down on the couch with some home-made beans topped with chips, salsa, avocado and sour cream. Yum. And this was on the nightly news.

taxman cometh.

2009-02-19T18:11:00.000-08:00

On my way to the IRS to take care of some tax crap, I snapped this picture of a sticker on the car in front of me at a RED LIGHT, don't worry, I wasn't a terror on the road. It's really not a great shot, I wish the resolution was better on my camera, but you can definitely see it's a weird freaky ape-like creature.

Evolution 2

2009-02-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

sometimes, too often probably, I listen to some talk radio. It's the progressive station KPOJ, and this morning, around 10am, Thom Hartmann went off on a riff about both pigeons and babboons having cognitive abilites similar to that of humans, and how we are more connected to the animal kingdom than we think. I tend to agree.

monkeys workin' overtime

2009-02-18T22:33:00.001-08:00

There's NO way I was going to make it through this day without GOBS of monkeys: my friend Dana and I made a trip to the Bins and to the Teen Challenge Thrift Shop on Sandy. The Bins, for those of my many readers beyond Portland*, is the Goodwill dumping ground where crap is sold for $1.39/pound (it used to be less than a dollar per pound). The Teen Challenge is where disadvantaged Christian youth and some really funky old-timers get to earn some money by working at the thrift shop. I got a record of as many monkeys as I could:
That last one's not a meerkat, I swear. It's the "speak no evil" monkey.

The sad fact of this trip, though, was that we were going in search of some plastic toys in order to make a prototype for a project idea we have. SUPER TOP SECRET, of course, but to our UTTER dismay, because of all the problems with lead paint on toys from China, ALL childrens toys are BANNED from being SOLD! I shit you not. EVEN if they arent' from China. NO TOYS. Google it. The law went into effect only days ago, THWARTING our plan, and according to what I just read online, the shops are just stopping the sale of toys altoghether rather than check the "comprehensive database available online from the Consumer Product Safety Commission." They are, of course, afraid of getting sued. So ridiculous... The Bins wouldn't even sell me a childrens cardboard BOOK because of this "ban." And, though the Teen Challenge dudes were very nice and funny and talked to us a lot and gave us a great deal on the junk we did get, they still would not accomodate our need to get our hands on some plastic toys.

* ha ha.

oh yeah, i was gonna tell about this to, but i almost forgot. wait. oh yeah. heh heh heh.

2009-02-17T21:53:00.000-08:00

I watched Pineapple Express last night, and of course it was hilarious and I totally lost track of how many times a monkey was mentioned, but I managed to jot the first one down. It's from early on, and I think it's when Seth Rogen's character is explaining to the other guy an example of one of his process-server visits. Or maybe it was a clip of one of his actual visits. or... anyway, he says:

"...you have repeatedly refused to trim your monkey tree..."

.

darling where... did I sleep... last nite?

2009-02-17T21:45:00.000-08:00

I never knew that Maakies, one of the most twisted, most hilarious, most weirdo comic strips got made into a show! The Drinky Crow Show! http://www.adultswim.com/shows/drinkycrow/index.html

In the Mist

2009-02-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

Ahh, back to normal. These were in a shop window on NE Broadway as I walked to Costello's Travel cafe with friends for coffee. Terrible photo quality, but if you squint your brain you can see Jane Goodall.

NO VALENTINE'S MONKEYS. BOO HOO!

2009-02-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

Yup, two whole days with no primate activity. Saturday I babysat and then made dinner for some friends whose kitchen is being remodeled. And Sunday I spent the ENTIRE day getting my etsy page up and running: www.thenaughtybee.etsy.com so there was barely a chance for a monkey or ape to even dart into my peripheral vision. The work on etsy is rather naughty. You've been warned.