Ye Olde Guy of the Familie

On the topic of jury duty: "It's what separates us from the monkeys."

TODAY AND FOREVER!

this is getting out of hand, Huffmeister.

YESTERDAY!

i gathered monkeys all day, and yet my evening took a surprise turn and by the time i got home it was past midnight. ok, in chrono order:

1) Sam Seder on Ring of Fire radio program, appx 1pm: "...they are talking in monkey voices."

2) Trip to Fabric Depot, no big surprise to see monkeys, but I wasn't even looking. This very cute fabric was just behind the red flannel i had come to buy:



and this was getting quite the ogling from a tiny old lady, I was not about to snap a picture of her looking at it:

3) After the Depot i went to Columbia art supplies to pick up some fabric dye, and this was next to the register:

UPDATE: o shit i forgot to post the pics. its february.

1001 reasons why kids are cute

partial

All I wrote down earlier was "...a monkey would be a refreshing step up! a monkey would talk less!" and I cannot remember what show it was! Either HIMYM or FG .

way.

i admit, i am still surfing the web for no dang reason. what am i thinking! my time would be better spent outside, it's GORGEOUS. Portland is always mild and wonderful when the rest of the country is arctic blasted. lucky us. but this guy? you just know all the locals are like "there goes another gringo loco..."

all the news thats fit to blog

Thank you, msn homepage, for keeping me informed of the day's important topics.

yester yester day day

I let the day get away from me before I could sit down and post. I have a good excuse though: Enchilada Dinner Party. It was delicious. But earlier in the day, going to visit my friend's brand-new baby, the topic of The Jungle Book came up, specifically the Orangutan character, King Louie.

nighty nite

fuckin A i am soooo sleepy. but not sleepy enough to browse the "news" before I crash out with Harry Potter 5. Thanks HuffyPoo, sweet dreams.

Fine Homebuilding

Yet another magazine my housemate has a subscription to, sitting on the kitchen table. I started to flip thru while eating my breakfast, and on the letters to the editor page i went immediately to this entry, not even reading any of the others:

sidekick

Sewing, watching/listening to Family Guy: James Woods is going to star in a TV pilot written by Brian, who wanted Elijah Wood for the role. James is making a list of demands, and at the end of it says "Oh, by the way, I need a chimp sidekick." So I got my camera ready and...

Coco Love Good

AND...

today my friend Julie sent me a link in response to me posting the picture of the monkey poster in her son's room. It's a song called The Smartest Monkey by one of my fave bands when I was in high school, XTC, which means that I am old.

Girl Party!

After picking up my friend from the airport, we met up with some other lovely ladies at the Gold Dust Meridian. It's a swanky enough place, with decent food and drinks and atmosphere. But they dropped the ball entirely with lazyish service and overly froofy giant fish-bowl drinks dripping with umbrellas and plastic mermaids and yard-long straws. The table next to us ordered one and when it came out it looked like a joke, a tiki-bar monstrosity. I don't even think the Alibi makes a caricature of a drink like this. Anyway. After that group left, but before Mr. Lazypants cleared their table, I managed to catch this out of the corner of my eye, so we snagged it from the rim of the fishbowl. The picture is blurry. So were we.

ditto

Still have Family Guy on. I'm done with laundry, now i'm getting ready to pick up a friend from the airport. Peter to Lois: "By the way, I bought a chimp." Raise your hand if you think I have the TV on too much. Wait, don't answer that.

over-heard, over-monkeyed

At some point i might have to refrain from including quotes from Family Guy (and How I Met Your Mother)...there's practically a monkey in every episode! Just now while I was folding laundry, Stewie says to Brian: "I've been a naughty little monkey!"

Right Turn, Clyde*

In addition to the aforementioned Esquire magazine that my housemate receives in the mail, he also receives Smithsonian, which makes a nice balance. He must have let the subscription lapse, because I hadn't seen it around for a while, until now. The February issue came in the mail today, and on the Letters to the Editor page, the letters addressed topics from the December issue, which we did not get. But at least we know what the cover looked like:



*it is entirely possible that I used this title for a post back in '09, for those of you paying very close attention. haa!

One-two punch

Here is the kind of poster you might find in an 18-year-old's bedroom, whose room was shown to me by his mom, an old dear dear friend who i've re-connected with after stupidly too long. Last time I saw that kid he was still a lil' pip-squeak.



And here is the shirt of a girl who was walking by me and my friends outside of a bar. I asked if i could take a picture of her shirt, and, after explaining about the blog, she decided that maybe i wasn't overly weird (maybe just a little weird) and said yes. Thanks Sara!

FISHBONE!!! AND ROSCOE!

OK. Stay with me on this:

So, last week i read in the Portland Mercury about a movie called "Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone." It was playing here as part of the Reel Music film festival. I wasn't able to see the movie, but i dug out an OLD OLD OLD tape that i made in probably 1991 or 92 when i lived in LA and listened to a LOT of Fishbone (and Jane's Addiction and Bob Marley and Cypress Hill...). I tried to play the tape in my car, but it became stuck in my tape player due to the fancy customn squeezy-paint decoration i embellished the tape with. Ha. I got it out with some pliers, and remembered that this happened to me once before when i first got my car (i should put a post-it note on the tape that says "Do not play this tape in your car, dummy").

Now it is today and I was craving this music so i found it on Grooveshark (an awesome place to listen to music when you don't want to suffer the randomness, commercials and EVERY POSSIBLE GENRE WILL PULL UP A BEATLES SONG of Pandora). And the fantastic song "Short Bus Movin'" includes this line:

"...the mayo men used firehoses to spray the monkeys back in their cages..."

Of course i went straight to youtube to find a video of the song (happy SIXTH birthday to youtube, btw. that's right. only SIX. and you thought it had been around since the beginning of time...). There wasn't a regular video for it, but the first listing that came up was a clip from the movie Tapeheads, one of the most underrated and hilarious movies EVER! The scene in which this song is featured (but not featuring the monkey lyrics) has Fishbone all dressed up in cowboy gear and they are credited with the name "Ranchbone," which just adds yet another hilarious element to this great movie. If you don't believe me, just watch it yourself, and keep an eye out for Roscoe.

at breakfast this morning...

...casually flipping thru Esquire magazine, which one of my housemates receives in the mail.

well that's just great.

According to the show on PBS* right now, there are monkeys in the wild that have DIED from stress-related maladies that, pathologically, are the same as stress-related maladies that affect people. I feel the need to point out that i, personally, have been feeling less and less stressful recently, and i have to tell you, it feels pretty good. Buck up, monkeys! And people!



*link is to PBS info, there isn't a link to watch the show :-(

Family Guy

The one where Brian is trying to start an animal rights group after accidentally killing another dog and finding out it wasn't that big a deal. No one was interested so Stewie wants to cheer him up. He offers an empathetic anecdote in which he remembers reading a Curious George book, which was written by the wrong person, or something like that. In the "flashback" Stewie is shown reading Curious George, horrrified, and he exclaims "...monkeys aren't supposed to drink chardonnay!"

les bebes sanges

On the Huffington Post this morning, in which a tiny french girl recounts the story of Winnie-the-Pooh, except that I don't remember any of the things she is talking about. Perhaps I skipped that chapter? I just remember honey jars and upturned umbrellas used as boats and toes growing cold in the snow, tiddly-pom. She's a darn cute kid, but my all time favorite cute kid on the web is this superstar.

Dinosaur Wars

The last place on the television that I'd expect to see/hear ANY monkeys at all: an OPB show about the true-life melodrama surrounding two early American paleontologists. They showed a clip of Humphrey Bogart in "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." This is a movie about gold prospecting in the old west, not dinosaurs. Or monkeys. But the clip was to help illustrate that in the early part of the century, early paleontologists on long, arduous digs would apparently ditch their assignments and go dig for gold instead. Smart. But the clip they showed included these words from Bogie: "...you won't monkey around with Fred C. Dobbs."

How I Met Your Monkey

From HIMYM (I see a trend developing): Marshall is sad, but Barney and Ted know that web videos of dudes getting whacked in the nuts will cheer him up. They rattle off a list of things that would be acceptable as projectiles, the list ending with "...hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists."

Savage Love

From Dan Savage's column in this week's Mercury, which I read earlier while eating lunch. A turkey sandwich made with leftovers from last night!

Last Night...

...my friends Dana and her hubby Gus had delicious turkey dinner with delicious food and delicious guests and this mug was sitting on top of her microwave. I didn't get home until past midnight because i was having such a delicious time, so here it is for you today.

preggo

watching "Cracking the Maya Code" NOVA program on hulu

lazy sunday, part deux

yes, i am still being lazy. I watched the premiere episode of Portlandia and some shows about space on hulu. and sewed a little bit. now i'm checking out more metal history--still learning so much!--and came upon another gem. gemonkey. oh, i also folded laundry.

lazy sunday

I know, it's still saturday, but it is so drizzly and gross and starting to get dark that it feels like a get-back-in-bed kind of day. And I saw this link a bit ago and was in the middle of educating myself on metal music when this playlist came up in the sub-genre of "Stoner Metal."


Now go educate yourselves: http://www.mapofmetal.com/#/home

cracked!

this from a cracked.com article about images that look photoshopped but aren't

i can has lol monkey?

OKAY, i've said it before and its still true: i am a crazy cat lady without a cat. i thought i'd give icanhascheezeburger.com a look-see before turning off my computer. then i clicked on a small image to see it bigger and the page it brought up had a little friend on it. This is the picture i wanted to see bigger:

Aren't they cuuuuuute?!?! you know they are, and no, i'm not going to [cap it]. Goodnight!

THIRTY ROCKS

Jack Donaghy is recalling something to Liz Lemon about his college life: "...I was either (doing something in the something) or I was "sweeping the floor at the Princeton monkey lab."

this time i'm getting up from the sewing table

As you have probably figured out, i watch a lot of regular tv during the day. I'm not working right now, but i AM working on lots of projects, and i like to have re-runs on when i'm sewing, esp. between 4 and 7pm. These shows are like dear old friends. And when work starts up again next month, I'll have to bid them adieu and hope for other, less tele-centric monkeys. Vive la television!

From How I Met Your Mother (which is actually a fantastic show. It fills in the void left by Friends):

Barney: "Didn't you get my message?"
Robin: "No, I blocked your e-mail after the fourth time you tried to send me that video of a monkey sniffing its butt."

Fabric Depot

This is a very strange coin purse made out of a little tiny sock! I guess you could say it's a sock monkey of sorts...

i spaced it yesterday, but there were TWO monkeys

1) "It would be like giving a monkey the keys to an amusement park"--heard on That 70's Show

2) "he'll have wild monkey sex five times and then be done with her"--How I Met Your Mother

I was sewing while these shows were on and wrote them down, but I forgot to post 'em!

goooooood morning CNN!

run! be freeeeeee!

linky linky

I was just about to get in bed and read, but before turning off my computer, I checked out a blog i like called fourfour.

This particular post interested me because i grew up in Dallas, and was a kid when this was made. My friend and i went into Neiman Marcus once and tried on fancy party dresses we could never afford. And it was in the mid-80's, so everything was u.g.l.y. enough to gag you with a spoon. Anyway. I linked to the filmmaker's website and encountered this! It was made in 1974 and now i really want to see it.

the final frontier

I enjoy watching shows and videos about space. There is a YouTube channel called SpaceRip with many many excellent space videos.

I found it a few months ago and stayed up very late one night bingeing on videos about space. Its been a little while since I checked it out, so i went on YouTube to see what was new. And look who is there, hanging out on a menu filled with videos about SPACE.

and then there's Maude! who is certainly not a monkey.

Right between The Tyra Show and Cops on the tv box there is a new station called "Antenna TV" which features mostly sitcoms from the 70's and 80's. (Why, Good Times came on just this second!)

Maude and Walter are arguing about women's roles, etc, (remember, it was basically the premise of the whole show). She expounds upon the drudgery of waking up early and getting gussied up and slathering on makeup just to go to the kitchen and make breakfast for her husband. Then she exclaims: "Walter, if that's your idea of a fulfilled life, then I'll be a monkey's uncle!" Then they got into bed.

"Including a villainous, space-age monkey!"

Today a friend posted a link to this movie trailer, so now i'm posting it for you. Don't forget your popcorn and pot cookies, kids! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFZ2X6hrk6o

who knew?!?!

i made a facebook post announcing the triumphant return of EverydayMonkey, and this is what I found out! Thanks Chach!

is it still yesterday???

mo babies!
Thanks again HufflepuffPost!

friggin' babies today!

As I mentioned, I went to a baby shower today. Because I am so BROKE (only for another month, thank gawd), I ended up not buying anything, but I am going to make some dinners for the new parents when they really need it in a few weeks. SOUP! But just now i was thinking about another preggo friend and went on the FB to send her a message and see if she had posted any info and/or giant belly pics. Instead, I found a monkey.

baby humans, never not cute

Just doing a little google search for baby shower gifts. I know, there's almost a guarantee of a monkey sighting when it comes to babies. I just wanted to try to come up with something for my friend other than onesies. ooh, maybe a onesie with a monkey on it. I don't know if i'll be able to find one, though... NOT.

baby animals, never not cute

Thank you, HuffPo.

this blog would not be possible without Seth MacFarlane

During The Family Guy earlier, Chris referred to the evil monkey living in his closet. It wasn't the episode where the monkey comes out of Chris' closet, it was one where Lois runs for mayor. anyway. And it was earlier, so i forgot about it. I was sewing and didn't want to get up.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071018214123/familyguy/images/2/2e/Evil_Monkey.gif

Exit Through the Gift Shop

I know, i know! I hadn't seen it yet! I just started watching it just now!

The Fisher King

St. Ives used to make this fabulous face mask that apparently they don't make anymore. It is the best stuff ever, and not just because it is the same color as Bedtime Bear. In the film The Fisher King, Jeff Bridges' character takes a bath (Dude prelude?) with this blue mask all over his face. I did a google image search hoping to find a picture of this scene. No luck with that, however, this image came up about 4 pages in, fancy plates with monkeys on 'em. Thanks, Susan Fisher King! Now if you'll just let me know where I can find some of that blue face mask.

radio spot

just now, a KPOJ 620am ad for Norman Goldman show, with this sound bite:
"They stuck a monkey wrench in every machine."
referring to republicans, obvs.

oops! this is from last night, i swear

From the rollicking mid-80's comedy Date Night starring Bruce Willis and Kim Basinger! If you ever need to know just how fucked-up things were in the 80's, just check out this flick! In this picture there is jealous lover John Laroquette, pre-Night Court, giving chase. He crashes into a storefront because a monkey suddenly appears and jumps on his head while he's driving! I know, right! It's so great that the filmmakers got this right, because this happens to me all the time.

Thank you Cleveland Show!

i am back.

Farting around on facebook tonight, i came across this image from the b-day celebration of a friend of a friend many times removed. Why in the heck was i poking around? Could it be that I needed to start up this blog again??? You bet your monkey butt I did!