tart?

Click image to enlarge. http://www.resplendentchaos.com/engrish_poetry/

BONUSES!

This is from an e-mail I got today about a bargain-basement sale coming up this weekend in which local designers and shops unload last years goods for cheap cheap cheap. Yeah I'm going. I clicked the link to see a list of vendors. This one was at the top.

AND, here is the poster I forgot from the other nite:

The cartoons are alive with the sound of Monkeys

Third day in a row the Oregonian has come through. Like I've mentined, I read the paper on my lunch break, but I stopped reading the funnies several years ago because, wait for it... they stopped being FUNNY. Then, at some point, the O started carrying Bizarro by Dan Piraro (there it is, right above Jumble. does anyone under the age of 82 even do the Jumble?). That I do read. It is usually, well, bizarre. and funny. Please note how pleased I am that two out of five stomps shown in his collection are dinosaurs! Yay!

Also, tonight I watched the Simpsons while eating dinner, and it was the episode where Homer starts smoking medical marijuana to help him with his "glaucoma." Marge catches him, of course, and in the course of defending himself to her he says, "I could walk up to the president and blow smoke in his stupid monkey face." OBVIOUSLY this episode was made during the Bush presidency...

dangit

well, today at lunch I saw this article in the actual, physical newspaper, which I had planned to scan when I got home with the copy that gets delivered to the house. But today there was no paper! Which means that there is no NYT Crossword to do before bed... For the purposes of this blog, there is the internet: http://www.oregonlive.com/business/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/business/123309510958200.xml&coll=7 And for the purposes of lulling me to sleep, there are books, of course. But I am at such a good part in the book I'm reading that it will not lull me to sleep, it will keep me up for hours! ahh well... And I do need to go to sleep, so I will have to post the monkey posters from last night tomorrow. if I remember.

a busy day!

From today's paper, Thanks Oregonian, even though 90% of the time, you really suck as a newspaper. And also today, the movie "Monkeyshines" came up in a conversation. why? why... why? it was a trivial pursuit, I guess. Then later there were two different posters on my friend's wall, only one of which I got a picture of, which was a monkey with headphones on. The other one, which I forgot to take a picture of before I left, had a great drawing of a flying monkey. I'll post the one tomorrow, for now I must Sleep.

context, people

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2DxyAGzGxM&feature=related
Something reminded me today of the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, so when I got home I looked up some clips on youtube. I love youtube. Anyway, there in the sidebar was a clip from Clerks II, which I still have not seen, but now I've seen 3 minutes of it! and despite it's nefarious undertone (and lesson), it still basically fits for the blog.

on the radio, oh wa oh oh oh

I have the fantastic "job" of painting some fantastic dinosaurs in the wee little two-year-old's new room. While laying out the design, I listened to some talk radio (KPOJ Portland!) before switching to music. You see, it just makes sense to listen to the radio while doing painting projects, because changing CD's once an hour is a pain, and I don't have an ipod. And classic rock just seems to GO very well with painting walls. and so does beer.

While I was listening to the people talk about politics and President Obama (EEEEEEEEEEEE! so stoked to say that), these two phrases came up within about 45 minutes of each other:

"...they wanted to throw a monkey wrench into the works."

"...at least we didn't get attacked by flying monkeys."

hangin' tough

Ah, so, there was NOT ONE MONKEY yesterday. HOW DISAPPOINTING! However, tonight I was treated to some much-needed monkey fun whilst being Aunty to my wee little favoritest 2-yr old in the world. First, one of her library books featured a picture of a sock monkey in the context of holding some sort of cabinet position in a Madame President scenario. I meant to borrow the book and scan the pic tonite, but I'll have to do it tomorrow. It will explain itself. Then, before I left, I espied hanging from the metal window hinge this fine creature with MAGNETS inside the hands (aforementioned wee 2 yr old took off with the analagous tiger friend with same magnet paws).

HONESTLY, it's about time I admitted this:

Let me hereby recognize that if 1) I did not have kid friends, 2) I worked in a non-media/ad/pr/marketing/front desk job and 3) i did not watch any tv or listen to any radio and 4) lived under a rock, then, well, yes, I would probably have a lot less monkey incidents.

As it is, though. I'm still pretty convinced of my premise. Two days with no monkey out of almost a month is not a bad record. There are no other animals like monkeys and apes that make more appearances in media, language, pop culture, literature, music and just general consciousness.
.
If there IS, then by all means please tell me about it!

Evolution

Here's how it happened: I logged on to a local art blog, there was a link to artofobama.com, which I had never heard of, and which is AWESOME, btw, and as I looked at some of the posts, there was this one. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! So stoked that it is NOW and not THEN anymore.

I'll get you, my pretty!

Usually the Oregonian gets delivered at work, and usually I read it on my lunch break. However, today the paper was NOT THERE! Consarn you architects on the second floor, I KNOW you kyped my paper!... Therefore I was left to my own devices to scrounge through the offices to find an appropriate soup distraction. There, on a shelf in one of the creatives' office, was an issue of NYLON from November. And that, I suppose would do just fine, because there, on page whatever, was this fashiony update that I (but not this blog!) could have done without.
..
U
HAPPY INAUGURATION DAY EVERBODY! AREN'T YOU SO STOKED!!

A hair by any other color would smell like chocolate.

I was beginning to think this was wrong on so many levels, a small ad banner from yet another blog today at work. I didn't do the best screen capture (I AM supposed to be WORKING at work, right), so when I uploaded it just now and gave it another look, I totally thought it was an ad for HAIR COLOR! You know, a deep brown shade called Supreme Dark Chocolate! Color level 72! All Natural! Oh dear, I looked at it again on the actual blog and was very relieved to see it is an ad for, YES, Supreme Dark Chocolate CHOCOLATE. Come on, though, the packaging seems just like hair color, doesn't it?!? I see those packages out of the corner of my eye when I shop for shampo. For my delightfully salted pepper hair. NO dyes for me, thank you.

If you build it, they will come

Another gem from work: a blog entry about the Build-A-Bear Workshop game for Wii! I guess you can build other animals besides bears, like Marvelous Monkey!!

Saturday and Sunday all in one?

There were monkeys abound at a friend's parents' place! An AWESOME place, a veritable menagerie inhabited the house, beautiful antique toys and objects in nooks and crannies all over the place. And the party went from late Saturday nite to past midnight, so technically some of these monkeys may have come from today. FUN!

ooo-ooo-ooo-AAAH-AAAH-AAAH!

Gotta love galleryoftheabsurd.com. There's a link on there for how to turn a picture of yourself into one that looks like that Shepherd Fairy Obama poster. Well, I dug around in the "animal" section of this awesome blog, and LO and BEHOLD was this fabulous image. Simply twisted and fantastic!

Bulk discount

Yet again, in my weird job, I was required to do a screen capture for one of the PR clients. This time it was from a PDF of a Canadian magazine called Yummy Mummy (insert loud groaning and vomit sounds). The screen capture (on maybe page 2) was for one of the video game clients, but I scrolled down thru the pages out of curiosity. The cover article was about this woman who does hand-painted murals and here, from page 4 or 5, is a rather crappy screen capture of one of her murals called (more sounds here): "Monkey Mommies." Well, I had to go onto her website after that, and really this woman's work is very decent--I'm sure she makes gobs more money than I do--At any rate, the first image that came up on her site was this:

hardly working

In today's paper! This is below the fold on the business section. I opened it up because I thougtht I recognized the bar in the picture...

Actually, my December kicked ASS.

Tonight while I did my dinner dishes I listened to a mix tape I made a VERRRRRRY long time ago (in the eighties!! shhh!). I used to make tapes from songs off the radio, from a really cool station in Dallas, TX (yes, it has long since folded) and they've held up extremely well and I still listen to them (though my favorite one has gone missing). I'm sure I've listened to this tape a hundred or more times, but not since I started this blog, and the third line of this song never really stood out to me until now!

it's catching on again!

Awesome--this was in my e-mail inbox today when I got home. I do not remember getting on their e-mailing list, or ever having even gone there, but they did come up in an earlier post (Jan 4).

whew, I was gettin' worried about them monkeys

This kiddo's picture is on a blog that I came across as part of the work I do for the PR dept. at work. The person who has this blog was reviewing a video game that is made by one of our clients, and here is as much of the picture as I want to print without getting in trouble. I don't know how to contact that person to ask their permission to use the picture. What you can't see is that he is wearing a bright orange t-shirt and his arms are raised like he's jumping and he is missing his front teeth. A real cutie-patootie and has probably earned his nick-name fair and square.

craptacular

Ok, so, this weekend completely flew by, I don't think I had a monkey saturday either, and I KNOW I had one yesterday early in the day, but I completely forgot not only to at least write it down, but I forgot what it was AT ALL. I am so disappointed...
:(
However, today all is back to normal. Here is a screen capture of a blog post for Sorel boots that I had to print out at my job. The company I work for does PR for Sorel, and now I really want a pair! For all the future global-warming inspired "Arctic Blasts" that are going to pummel the pacific NW like the one we got for two weeks straight this winter. For many many reasons, it was a really fun time...

oh dear.

This is the first day without a monkey! I'm so sad! I mean, it's only 10:23, but I'm going to bed early because I'm utterly exhausted, so what are the chances really? Bummer. Well, since I can't go re-naming the blog "Almost EverydayMonkeys," we'll just have to come to grips and move on.

To get us started in the moving on, please enjoy this joke that is a fun one to tell to children:

Q: Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

too tired to find a picture

I caught the last half of The Office, apparently Dwight had tricked the blonde chick he likes into marrying him. When he was explaining it to her, he said something like "him, my monkey back there, he's not an actor, he's a real minister" or something like that. There you have it oh my god i'mso sleepy i don't evne care about typosea tthis opoint gooodnightzzzzzzzzz

And it don't stop, and it don't quit.

Fantastic dinner at a friends, been to her house many times, never noticed this little guy up on the wall hangin' out. (Way to go, camerafone!)


And we went down to the basement for a little bit, haven't been down there many times at all, and this one was hanging from a row of hooks on a shingled wall. (aw, what happened to the flash there, camerafone?)

night-night!

I would never do this to an animal.

This is what you get, when you msn with us.

Here she is...

Tah-day!
I had to photocopy a newspaper clipping at work yesterday, and when I laid the paper down on the copier, this image was on the reverse. Part of a big ad for a stage show in New York. Go Dora. You've finally arrived.

Can I get fries with that?

Well, this must be what the perezhilton.com post was referring to. From inside the front page of today's Oregonian. Ew again!

ALSO: At work today I came across a picture of Dora the Explora with her little monkey friend Boots (don't ask me how I know his name...), but I forgot to get the image! Will post with explanation tomorrow.

ew.

As I've mentioned before, I get a satisfying kick out of perezhilton.com. Here is a post from today. Why this is on a celebrity gossip site, I have no idea.

With a Little Help from my Friends

My housemate and buddy sent me this link today: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/in_pictures/7811769.stm, because he knows about this here blog. And if it were my only monkey today, it would still count. But I'm not asking for submissions or suggestions. It has to happen naturally, like... like... EVOLUTION! yeah... And really, I'm a little disturbed by this image, hopefully they are just playing...

Auntie Em, Auntie Em!!

A friends' Facebook post from today. No further explanation necessary.

Attention Shoppers:

A publishing company here in Portland puts out a massive book of coupons every year called the "Chinook Book." A friend of mine works for them--the same friend who suggested I put this little endeavor into blog form, in fact--and she gave me one of the books for Christmas. As I was checking out all the fabulous, money-saving coupons today (and even used some when I went grocery shopping), I ran across these two! The first one is for the 100th Monkey Studio, you can barely read it, and the other is for a shop called The Monkey and the Rat, which is about 4 blocks from my house. They sell these great little painted wooden frogs with rows of bumps on their backs. You rub a small stick across the bumps and it makes the most fantastic froggy sound! I'll have to use that coupon, I think.

BONUS!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

OK. If you don't get this, and I mean GET this in a way that causes you to make actual verbal sounds of laughter out loud, not just in your mind, then your sense of humor and mine are probably from different planets. Upon learning about this blog (I think?), a friend sent me a link to this. It counts, and if you hang on till the right moment, you'll know why.

Right Turn, Clyde.

Aah, so I sat down in front of the tube, briefly--so briefly--to have something to look at while I ate a quick dinner. I flipped the channel a bit, because nothing is really on at 7pm on a Saturday. But "Art Wolfe's Travels to the Edge" was on the public television station! Allllriiiiiight! And an image of an orangutan like this flashed by in the opening montage! Whoosh!

Where's Your Head At?

So, this same friend-with-kiddo who's been popping up these past several posts, well, I had left one of my CD cases out at her parents' place in the country sometime late this summer. No big whup, I still had my other CD's here at home. I even totally spaced it at some point until I went to find a CD, probably in October, and still didn't remember to remind them to bring it with them next time they came to town until probably Thanksgiving! Well, they brought it in town with them maybe a month ago, and only just TODAY did I remember to grab it when I stopped by my friends' house (follow?). When I got home I flipped through it to jog my memory of which CD's I had been living without since August, such as this one, by the Basement Jaxx! Then, when I Googled them to find out what the name of this album is (faster than looking for the jewel case: Rooty), there was a listing for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4hFwJm41h4
Enjoy!

Knit Pickin

Tonight I needed to take it easy after a truly ca-ray-zee New Years Eve and an all-day recovery. So I went to a friend's house for Craft Night. Us girls get together every couple of weeks with our projects and have some food and maybe a drink (though not tonight!), and plenty of girl-talk while we work on our projects. Sometimes the conversation goes to places you don't think you'll need or want to recall. However, this relevantly bears repeating: the host of this night's get-together explained, after many tangents into and out of a wacky discussion, that she and her sister are very close and have no problem with checking out one another's skin issues, such as a particularly hard-to-reach back zit, or wanting to be in the doctor's office with her when she had a cyst removed, not out of worry or support, but out of curiosity. "We're kind of ape-like, in that way," she said. Wacky!

All is quiet on New Year's Day

So, Happy New Year!! I have spent this day almost entirely in bed. Not only did I have too much fun last night, I caught a tummy flu bug from my friend's little girl who I babysat yesterday! Wah! And so, I have done much sleeping and TV-watching today to recover. I watched more Planet Earth DVD's, and then while I ate some food (finally) I watched Jeopardy and then the Simpsons. I was thinking of putting in another DVD, but I decided to just watch a little bit of a TV show that I have never seen before. It's called "The Big Bang Theory" and the subject dealt with a character who gets way too hooked on online-gaming. Not only was there a line drawing of a chimpanzee in the opening credit animation (this image I found is pretty close), but when one character was describing the "symptoms" of the online-gaming-addicted other character, she said (and I paraphrase), "Oh, yeah, she's got that multi-user monkey on her back for sure."
There you have it! It's going to be an excellent year, I can feel it! despite this crappy, rainy, sicky first day.